need a new blog skin cant seem to find anything i like
weird today
didn't go out the whole day
hoping to go out later though

suppose to study but no mood to study
don't feel like it
so im so dead for end years
like wth la.

who am i kidding now
im strong?
i realise im so weak
i can't even stand on my two feets
let alone go against the stormy weathers
trying to blow me away
sometimes i hide
sometimes i just need to be alone
to let it all out
cry and weep
i just need that 1 minute
everything i ever knew that was the light to my world
vanish
struggling in the depth of this world
just feel so endless.
everything i do is getting affected
whats wrong, whats going on
im losing it right now.
even the family i used to have
its changing just changing
i always thought
it wasn't so bad,tomorrow going to be alright
i realise its all shit crapping
everyday i feel weaker
not knowing when this feeling would swallow me whole
or just tear me apart
every second i have that is free
i think.
and when i look around me and just observe things
i realize my life isn't like others i knew
sometimes being alone i feel so protected
from the weather,the darkness
sometimes being in the virtual world
i feel so assure
that it is a better day
facing reality is so much worst
i envy everyone else
sometimes i wish i had life like that
but people wished they had freedom like mine
freedom is fine.
but i realize i can't even talk to my family for 5 minutes
i told myself
i can give up everything that i have
just for one day with my family like the past
just one whole day.
but thats not going to happen now
i just know.
i don't even know what im working for.
no dreams.no nothing.
i just need that one day to sort things out.
where is my mind going to?
im losing my senses

i totally miss dancing
every dance video i watch
i seriously wish i was dancing
everymusic i listen to
i see a dance step with me eyes close.