okay yes its saturday.
watched THE SIMPSONS MOVIE at 12.10 with meixian and noreen
it was nice,funny pretty awesome but kinda short like one hour plus only.

when to school for open house helped in the trials until like 6pm.
did like recording for height and weight
also track stuff like light gates,brought the pri 6 here and there.
after everything,
was tired when to eat dinner with gengnan,divya and meixian.

went orchard with meixian for awhile to buy stuff.
came home around 9.40pm.
omg,i so want a new pair of shoes!

i dont feel like studying.
i wanna stop being so down
but i cant help it
where the f-cking hell are you
when im troubled
or when i needed you
you just aint someone i can lean on.


this nike rockstar thing is kinda cool(:
love the songs.

im tired and dead from this week's training.
MONDAY: 5x150m
TUESDAY: 2 sets 6 kg medicine ball
WEDNESDAY: 5x200m
THURSDAY: same as tuesday
FRIDAY: walking hurdles 5x, 3x300m

im finally home to rest my legs.
ughh..

lazy to talk about the whole week okay.
it sucks NOT because of training even though im DEAD TIRED.

i don't understand chem AGAIN but luckily i could do assignment.5.3 on my own
i feel so DUMB cause i can't do PHYSICS AT ALL! and i realise i don't understand a shit bout it
people that don't understand can fake it like they understand
unfortunately i can't fake it, i just show that i can't do it alright.
A math is like nightmare can't prove la. my eyes like problematic.

today PEP was fun in a sense. didn't like the sweet thingy made me sick. haha but well the rest was fine.

training was tiring cause my legs were like breaking, aching.
And what pissed me most is my freaking lock disappear which ever idiot take my lock
you're freaking DEAD if i find out.stupid sia i didn't even open my stupid locker the lock gone like what the hell..it was there at the start of training gone in the middle of training.

went dinner with divya,meixian and noreen.

tomorrow SINGAPORE SPORTS SCHOOL OPEN HOUSE.
im going to help.its gonna be boring i suppose
for some reasons which i don't know why, i don't feel excitement this year..

i havent been like myself lately
wonder why
i can't even feel anything now
mind wandering off to somewhere
i dont even know
please..
what is happening to me
why now.
why is my life so f-ed up
maybe sometimes thats why i wish i was dead.


justin timberlake is damn HOT mann!(:
i just love his songs, most of it at least.
HAHA.
old song: like i love you
his popping is pretty cool at least.

hey, back from "prison"
will tell you why i call it it "prison".
but first updates for the week
-.-

let me think..
monday walking hurdles
tuesday medicine ball 6kg with weining! omg heavy okay!

WEDNESDAY!
FINALS FOR NATIONALS SCHOOLS
how exiciting..
as usual school wins loads of medals
didn't run cause i don't know why
CAN PEOPLE PLEASE STOP ASKING ME WHY I NEVER RUN
its ticking me off.seriously.
was told as the reserved like last minute at 12.30
the time which im suppose to go in a sense
so went with the 2.15 bus as the reserve
warm-up with them and all.
its like my training la
watched races the rest of the day
cheer for people
and finally see siaolangs(:
really lovely.
went for SEOUL GARDEN at night the atmosphere at my table was really weird.
three groups of people one happy, one super quiet and one super noisy.
i was kinda emo that day la.
anyway..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HABIBAH!
hope you got the best birthday gift ever!

THURSDAY did err..
oh fartleg haha! 5 rounds around the field
ran too fast almost died
haha! retarded
oh i took math test after school without revising!(:
so i guess it was pretty easy
the only freaking thing im struggling with is chemistry!
ughh.can i just like go and die.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRISCILLA AND SYAFIQ(SEC 4)

TODAY/FRIDAY
no morning training f.y.i cause competition period
so had school
it was okay la. had chem quiz after school
i forgot how to do one question though
ughh
hope i pass la! daryl was like tearing his hair soon for math test haha!
PEP did indian dance as in learn it
it was really tiring.
calves and hamstrings are like cramping up!
haha!
and you know what my muscles ache the whole week since tuesday
today did medicine ball again! 6kg
i did it on my own this time not really my own but with the wall(:
i felt it was lighter today(:
i think i got stronger again haha.nice.
okay went back on my own today
ate three pieces of bread for dinner.
bought coach carter vcd and borrowed xxx from school library
going to watch them tonight i guess(:
oh and i call school "prison" because
it looks like one with the bar gates and all
and the system is pretty similar too! only not as strict
i guess.

hope i find someone to go out with tomorrow! woohoo!
im bored la.

Sometimes i wish i didn't have to hide
its just like a roller coaster ride
isn't it?
shouldn't it be filled with joy and excitement..
i wish i could show how i'm feeling
without changing people's feelings
happiness,joy and laughter..
something i never felt in such a long time..
is my emotions already numb.
or am i making a barrier from all of those..
to protect myself.

updates!
its nationals peeps.

WEDNESDAY:
well woke up at 5.30am had my 200m heats in the morning together with Alicia and Meixian.
there are other events with other people.
we slept for awhile when we reach the stadium
warm-up together with when it was time
i felt okay.
the call room was cold as usual.
well i didn't know anyone in my heats
so no push.
so was pretty relax did a 28.42
its a sucky timing yes i freaking know.
qualified for semis the next day.
reach back school i was like half dead already.
slept early.


did i mention how much i love the sky,
i took pictures of the sky in the morning at the stadium that day.

THURSDAY:
well woke up the same time had semis in the morning again
event was like 11 something so sleep again
warm-up with Alicia and Meixian again
cause they also qualified
im the slowest among them ok.
i was really tired i dont know why
and my back hurt like crazy la cant bend and all
i was like what the hell
all the pain come at the wrong time-.-"
ran the semis with Fiona,Joanna and Jia Wen in my semis
got pissed of cause of my back pain and the girl that false start-.-"
i beat Jia Wen by a little, Fiona and Joanna was infront.
i ran a 28.42 again, damn slow
was thinking okay i wont qualify top 8.
but i did.
my back really hurt and i didn't wanna run
but everyone says just run for the points
for the freaking school i "tahan"
cause wanna win title.



i know i look damn freaking ugly in this photos
but this is the only photos i have for my race
my practice starts for semis

lunch i had like 2 slice bread,2 fishballs,1 nugget
i was like super full.
warmed up at 2 plus
back still hurts
before all my races i went to gideon for spray
unfortunately to me it was pretty useless
i ran the 200m
i couldn't move
i pratically stride and i did a 28.78 or something la
electronic time.
almost cried after my f-ing race
was only happy cause i wasn't last.

at night cluster activity i stayed in rec watch tv
slept early again
dead tired.

TODAY.FRIDAY:
had class after so long
english did functional writing
history i think im totally lost.
social studies even more lost.
my group didn't do ss so got extention which is good until monday
i did my part so thats good less work for the weekends.
no training in the afternoon slack till 2pm
went to physio, ms grace wasn't there so adda helped me check my back
she say joints are okay but she thinks i strained my back muscle
argh. okay like wth.
slacked and play in the room with divya and mx
until 4 plus nearly 5 when noreen sms me her mum fetching dont need to wait for her
so prepared and left school with divya.
drank bubble tea and walked around with her. until 7pm go home.
thanks shree.for everything.

this week was really weird
i don't even know whats going on anymore
all my pain and suffering i hide it inside
that i even have the strength to help others
instead of solving my own problems
i don't know whether to cry or laugh sometimes
havent been laughing my heart out for a long time
laugh yes, but not to the extend that im really happy.
when im alone i feel so much happier sometimes..
or sometimes worst..cause i just realise i got so much to think about
or can say worry about..
sometimes i wish i could be a kid again
with nothing to worry about.
i just feel like crying once again.
but i tell myself be strong
can i really be strong?

tomorrow going to watch harry potter and the order of the phoneix(did i spell it right?) with cousin.well thats one thing im glad.

went out with noreen to orchard yesterday to study
was studying at bk, at cine
lucky never see boon han
if not he sent me to china
and i'll melt him in the sun!
HAHA
i slept at 2 plus watched
stick it and innocent steps
thanks noreen + parents for the nice indo dinner at paragon(:

today gtg back to school
f-ing chemistry
i don't even know how to do assignment 5.1
-.-"
im bored.

Elliott Yamin- Wait for You

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I’m missing you and I’m wishing you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go?
You could have let me know;
so now I’m all alone

Girl you could have stayed but you wouldn’t give me a chance
With you not around it’s a little bit more than I can stand
And all my tears they keep runnin’ down my face
Why did you turn away?

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you want it to be

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you

Been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You gotta be feeling crazy
How can you walk away(When)
Everything stays the same
I just can’t do it baby
What will it take to make you come back

Girl I told you what it is and it just ain’t like that
Why can’t you look at me?
You’re still in love with me
Don’t leave me crying
Baby why can’t we just start all over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But you’re telling me it won’t be enough

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for youIf you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you

So why does your pride make you run and hide
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it’s a lie what you’re keeping inside
That is not how you want it to be

Baby I will wait for youBaby I will wait for you
If it’s the last thing I do
Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don’t know what else I can do
Don’t tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life
Baby I will wait for you
If you think I find it just ain’t true
I really need you in my life
No matter what I have to do
I’ll wait for you
I’ll be waiting …

hello its been a week of school again
NATIONAL SCHOOLS started yesterday!
im only taking part 200m
like wth same as thailand-.-"

well this week was okay
monday did 220m and 80m
tuesday medicine ball
wednesday starts and 1 time 120m fast(ms chan was not there to supervise me at all)
thursday medicine ball
and i took my PHYSICS test, im so going to FAIL
ahhh! die-.-
zzz

today after school
went to stadium with maria,gail and wan ting
took 901, mrt and 307
in the 901 bus some three idiots quarreling
i was like wth -.-" over some stupid thing also la
okay reach there around one something
mariam and gail chiong for training i had to wait till everything finish
cause i needed the blocks
all of us didn't eat lunch
i went to get something to eat at 2
which is my lunch, hahas
A RED APPLE and GREEN APPLE
is MY LUNCH!
i slack around, saw all my friends and people i know running
so i watch like all the races(100m) until like 3000m satrted
which is around 4 i went to warm-up
finish warm up like i dont know what time.
ms chan was at the canteen cause she didn't eat lunch also
so i had to wait for her
so i waited at the track
did a short sprint and it was windy so muscles kinda cool down
ms chan came and we dont know where to get the blocks
so she say do 180m first
and i told her i was damn tired-.- haha!
okay cut the crap.
omg! HEAD WIND all the way for 180m!
i was so tired!-.- thank goodness is only once
i did a 25.08 so ms chan say it was okay cause the wind was really strong
she say the slowest slowest i can do for 200m
would be like 27.68 so i was kinda happy
we went to borrow blocks and did starts on the curve 5x
haha i can't hug the stupid curve keep flying off to one side-.-"
i was improving slowly though,one after another!
haha
stomach back and finish training
jumper juniors still had training though
they can't start cause of the competition a div had.

i finish training like 6 something
gina,divya and me talk until like 7.25 or something
divya and i went to lot one mac to eat dinner
after that came home(:
my back aching la-.-"

IM SO TIRED
COULDN'T SLEEP IN SCHOOL FOR THE WHOLE WEEK!
yay! thanks meixian for sending me ELLIOTT YAMIN'S WAIT FOR YOU song
i LOVE it to the core! haha woohoo!

i hope i can go out tomorrow!
no actually i can,just that i dont know what to do.

youth day is today
is quite lame though
okay i got to go prepare for
TRAINING AT 5.30PM
people should really stop asking me
haha
byebye world will be in school till weekends:(

nationals is coming starting from thursday
to all trackers good luck(:
i know this year gonna suck for me
blehh bet im not even top 8
oh well who cares.


d'trix is HOT(: dancing with sabra contemporary.

im getting hurt everywhere
sometimes i feel so invisible
that people just walk through me
everday i taste the purest of pain
i just need the courage to live
i feel so empty inside
my world so empty,
days so cold and lonely.
knowing that i'll never earn a place in your heart
im still foolishly trying
im losing myself
just trying to get to you.
is it even worth it.

okay TRANSFORMERS is a damn good movie!
i swear mann.
so cool(:
whoever haven't watch..
GO WATCH!
woohoo!
i love the part when the guy selling the car go
"thats my mama,hey mama!"
then the mother go point middle finger haha!
i wish i own a car who is my guardian la!

yesterday couldn't blog cause bro was using the computer

i went orchard yesterday(:
met cousin at shaw to watch transformers
and for free(: cause i got two free tickets to any movie at shaw
in the bus to orchard it was freaking HOT
bloody uncle like never on air-con
i can see everyone in the bus perspiring la
IDIOT.-.-"
zzz
OKAY the m
ovie was at 3.45 so we ate lunch before that
the movie ended like 6.10
quite long
haha and we got like the highest row at the side
its so high up
haha!

dinner was at pastamania!(:
went to HMV for awhile.
went home at 8pm.

i had like movie marathon last night
i watch tv till like 10 plus i went to my room
cause i was damn angry with my mum about my bedsheets and all
i got like all worked up i couldn't help but throw stuff around the room
i took harry potter(goblet of fire) and take the lead into the room
i slept at 3am in the morning
woke up at 12-.-
zzz..

late going to do homework.
not going out today
maybe later going to get cds and movie marathon again
haha
i think my eyes will gone case la(:

TODAY GST 7% ALREADY
NO MORE 5%
haha so i got to start saving money
no more being so generous?
whatever amanda.


so you think you can dance season 3
wade robson's choreo
danced by hok and jaime
nice(: