exams is so irritating just keep studying studying and studying
been doing that like whole week
this coming wednesday exams start oh mann-.-

yesterday night meixian and i went to noreen's house to stay to study overnight
ate mac breakfast this morning
im wondering if i should study more or go out-.-"
hate it.

training..
only train somedays now cause exams
but after exams full blast training
wth.
im sick of training i swear.
i don't even want to run anymore
i don't really care win or lose
train or don't train la.
my passion,my desire is gone long long time ago
i like running but not in that competitive way anymore
cause i realise its so difficult to pursue a dream like this.

f*ck man bitch whole day just irritate me
you seriously changed and i think you're not my f*cking friend
you're just another bitch
stop saying that you want to be different cause now you're no longer different
you're just the same.
and i don't give a damn about what happen in your life so just don't talk to me
want to talk? talk to me when im deaf.i'll thank you for that.
cause you really changed until i don't even know who the hell are you
and seriously i don't treat you as a friend now.

im super lazy to blog.

im back from OBS
finally(: yays.
its a 5 day course from tuesday to today(saturday)
im in watch marco polo im the only tracker
was suppose to be in living stone but cause 7 people didn't come from marco polo
so got transferred.
all the sec 3s in total there is only 20 of us.
Marco Polo-
kia hwee,joel,wayne,nathaniel,gabriel
cherie,denise,hin ann,vasanthi,myself
Livingstone-
divya,meixian,noreen,melody,nurindah
desmond,taufiq,hamka,haiqal,ahmad
TOGETHER WE ARE MARCO STONE OR LIVING POLO haha.


Day one:
we reach there and we just got grouped and all the admin stuff.
cleared the stores and stuff
did basic kayaking.
pitch tent,cook dinner
its just settling down

Day two:
woke up early like 5 something i think
cause have to get ready everything and eat breakfast by 7.
had land activity like belaying stuff and the other pair thingy in the morning
afternoon.
Sea expedition part one start today
we had to kayak to somewhere which is our campsite for that night.
we took like a few hours to kayak cause its quite far.
my partner was joel
the place was like a forest it the place where all the sec ones would trek to the end.
wild boars and all would be there
our toilet are just in the forest somewhere.
pitch our own tents and cook for the night
everyone also had to do night patrol according to shift in order to keep our stuff safe.
i manage to sleep well after the first night(:

Day three:
we woke up early again at 5.40 to pack everything by 7
today we left our kayaks and we have to trek for up to 10km
to get to checkpoints to earn points
in order to build a raft to go into the quarry
we managed to earn enough points after trekking with like freaking heavy bags
for 5 hours! im glad i survived!
it rained so we didn't get to build the raft
went for shelter for a long while
before the instructor allow all of us to get a dip in the quarry
super amazing its warm and beautiful
and super clear water as compared to the sea!
we reach our new campsite which its open space facing the sea and hardground
pretty nice(:
pitch tents and cook again
had to do patrol and prepare for sea expedition part two cause
i was one of the Sea X leaders(me,vas,des and noreen)

Day four:
woke up early and got ready by 6.30
Sea X leaders was in charge totally man.cause its a leadership course
so instructors would not give so much help
set off at 7am
trek for about 1 hour before we reach our kayaks
got on with joel and we got into our formation
before entering the swam vas and joel switch so
vas was my partner
we kayak for very very long
had mudwar so everyone got dirty including the instructors
was early to reach the first part that we suppose to get out and lift our boats to the other side.
the mud once you get out in the water you step you practically sink in.
paddle paddle then reach the second one which is the road we had a lunch break before going back in.
travelled for sometime before reaching the open sea
it started to rain and the waves were huge
once we were in the open sea for like 20 minutes or so
it was stormy
rain,waves,current,wind,lighting everything in the storm
a challenge for us we had to paddle really hard to move because the waves was huge
its super crazy,fun and im glad the last part me noreen vas and viya went mad
haha.joel and wayne sink last part due to the waves.
had jetty jump and had to watch up everything because we had mudwar and everything was dirtied.
had new campsite within c2 cook and pitch tent.
had nice group dinner and started cleaning store.

Day five:
today woke up at 5 with vas
hin ann and mel left for national colours yesterday morning
marco polo cleaned our store
everything inside had to be checked and all
and we didn't lose anything!
so don't need to pay for anything!
thanks goodness we found the pegs haha!
played game as usual
had debrief and what we learnt we cut the picture that all of us did yesterday
1.30 we bought stuff from the shop, i bought two polo shirts yeap
and sat the boat back to punggol jetty reach school at two plus
reach causeway around 3 something
reach home at 4
and im tired

going to buy dinner later.
had a good memory and experience even though i wasn't in the mood for obs from day one
and wanted to go home
but after everything its pretty woth it.
honestly want to thank the instructors bibiana and selamat. and marco stone people.
tomorrow going back to school-.-"
im so dead.

im so glad you're not impactful anymore
putting words in my mouth and assuming isn't the solution
i don't care if im replace cause i thought it through
you were the one who gave up on me first not me
even though i was the one that said i would let you go
but you were the one who gave me the fucking damn reason
of sports and studies to let go
my mind its cleared from obs.
fuck off troubles and don't ever come back to my life

call me a loner or whatever
i don't give a damn bout it
never really go anywhere today and yesterday

slept at 2am woke up at 10.30am
went to study at mac from around 2 to 5pm
walk around bought a pair of jeans for $55
played arcade for awhile and reach home at 6pm

i seriously need to get out tomorrow before obs
haha if i have the time anyway

my finger is recovering really slow..

been listen to Omarion - Beg for it
so nice.its the song that played on my blog la :D

going for dinner yeah byebye.


wrecking crew orchestra
japan(:
its dope man

need a new blog skin cant seem to find anything i like
weird today
didn't go out the whole day
hoping to go out later though

suppose to study but no mood to study
don't feel like it
so im so dead for end years
like wth la.

who am i kidding now
im strong?
i realise im so weak
i can't even stand on my two feets
let alone go against the stormy weathers
trying to blow me away
sometimes i hide
sometimes i just need to be alone
to let it all out
cry and weep
i just need that 1 minute
everything i ever knew that was the light to my world
vanish
struggling in the depth of this world
just feel so endless.
everything i do is getting affected
whats wrong, whats going on
im losing it right now.
even the family i used to have
its changing just changing
i always thought
it wasn't so bad,tomorrow going to be alright
i realise its all shit crapping
everyday i feel weaker
not knowing when this feeling would swallow me whole
or just tear me apart
every second i have that is free
i think.
and when i look around me and just observe things
i realize my life isn't like others i knew
sometimes being alone i feel so protected
from the weather,the darkness
sometimes being in the virtual world
i feel so assure
that it is a better day
facing reality is so much worst
i envy everyone else
sometimes i wish i had life like that
but people wished they had freedom like mine
freedom is fine.
but i realize i can't even talk to my family for 5 minutes
i told myself
i can give up everything that i have
just for one day with my family like the past
just one whole day.
but thats not going to happen now
i just know.
i don't even know what im working for.
no dreams.no nothing.
i just need that one day to sort things out.
where is my mind going to?
im losing my senses

i totally miss dancing
every dance video i watch
i seriously wish i was dancing
everymusic i listen to
i see a dance step with me eyes close.

this week has been totally crazy.
first time in my whole entire life i was STRESS
i mean seriously stress to the limit.
because of study and etc.

etc. is a f*cking stupid matter which made me freaking pissed
thank goodness bestie is back(:
im so happy(:

i had history,chemistry,physics,maths and social studies test this week.
MADNESS.
history i think can pass
chem i passed but like some shit marks 20.5/35 -.-"
physics i got A1 cause its a 100% test!(: although not highest in class or whatsoever
im happy(: 16/20(: yays.

took maths test and ss test today-.-
maths was super duper x10 difficult every class died-.- screwed la
i only could do Q1&2 3,4,5 i died haha!
ss i was dreaming la. hope i pass..stupid la.

had training at 12 something after school didn't eat lunch
suppose to train in the morning then afternoon dont need to train but
cause me and meixian want to study in the morning for math and ss
scrwed its so stupid la.doesn't make a diff whether i study or not-.-
maybe it did but i dont know haha
did walking hurdles when physio to see my swollen finger cause of netball on wed Xtraining.
practically died from training even though it wasn't difficult cause muscles are aching like mad.
HAHA.yesterday did full squat.
took the longest 2 hours to pack stuff
went causeway with mx.eat early dinner
we shopped at metro? okay haha
reach home at 7.25? i guess.

linette suppose to return me $20 but she put it in the locker and i dont know which locker she put it into can't find it-.- anyone find $20 please pass it to me(:

test is over but major exams coming and next week OBS hope its fun sacrificing study time for experience. haha im so dead la when im back must chiong study going to screw exams la
stupid people asking us to do dumb things when we have f*cking exams wtf and its not even sec 3 batch problem.


Jp again
his dance is awesome man

i totally miss dancing:(
the feeling is simply amazing

this would be really quick.

this few weeks been studying like mad i suppose
relax times too
but studies is getting intense now
hope i do well yeapps

yesterday thanks eugene for going out with me
and watch me study
watched THE NANNY DIARIES which i feel is better than
ball of fury.
reach home around 10 plus

stayed home the whole day today
studied and relax
i realise i don't know where my "you got served" cd went to-.-
this few weeks going to be stress like hell good luck to me man

and every now there's a new crowd
but its always you
im singing about