So how am i doing?

I guess i'm doing good, even though the holidays ended and the craziness of school will come again, I'm tryin to stay positive and i feel pretty alright most days.

I know I haven't let go of that one person, I know somewhere deep down in my heart he still exist and I still care. Some days it hurts, and would hurt over and over again. Yet with all these positivity, I have the strength to put it aside and take a step forward. Wherever you are and what you are doing, i'll always hope that you're doing good and happy. I do feel sorry for just drifting away like that, someday you'll understand..someday. 

Its been about a year since i graduated from TP, a new phase of life i'm in. Although its not easy, its not happier. It's an experience, something that I have to go through. Guess I got to make the best of it(: keep fighting to seek true happiness.

One thing I'm really satisfied with is my results for the previous sem. It was so INSANE. I had GEM 8 to handle, 3 modules which consisted of A LOT of assignments. I 'chionged' my assignments and has insufficient sleep for several days, some days with only an hour of rest. Exams was never my strong point, i remember going into fest and events(which i already passed going into the exam hall) with my handwritten notes, and even though the answers were supposingly there, but i over analyzed the question or something, and couldn't answer the questions properly. So PR is a really difficult subject to score, barely passed. phew. Really pleased that I passed, the most unexpected was Distinction for POL, like how on earth did that happened. i barely passed my assignment.

Oh well, so the first week of school gone by and today I participated in Pop In Progress Vol.1. After training rather hard, didn't get through the auditions like I wanted to. Disappointed is kinda normal. After awhile, I guess it didn't matter. Looking at other dancers, it's great to see improvements. You know when you don't get the results you want, you start to doubt yourself and a lot of things. yeah.. so that was what is going on in my head. I asked myself several questions "Why did I hold on for so long?" "Why do I wanna dance?" "Should I continue? "Was it wrong to choose dance over track?" "Where am I going with dance?" "What am I feeling?" "Whether I should join battles?"

I didn't have an answer to all my questions but one answer that came up was I just like dancing. Whether I win or not, improve or not, it's just cause I like it. Maybe I won't join battles so often anymore because it seems rather pointless since I usually don't get through auditions. I don't know where I'm going with dance, but I'll do it as long I can move and I feel something for it. I didn't exactly choose track over dance, its just that my glory days for track seem to come to an end, and it was pointless to continue since I can't represent a school and the reason why I wanted to run was for the team. The best team I ever been in, TP track<3 p="">

So this sums up a lot huh. update soon