dampened spirits?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008 @ 1:10 PM
yo in the computer lab now
so in school
so in school
just finished the E math paper 2 for prelims
last paper for prelims
the paper was tough
but its over anyway
yay.i guess..
well not sure i don't feel the excitement yet
O levels is coming in exactly a month
so screwed
so screwed
just got back history marks
well i got 23/50
so yeah i failed
which was super unexpected
the whole class failed actually
except wei ming
mrs james wrote as her comment:
"i am very surprised by this unexpectedly poor performance,
you did not show the clear thought and analytical mind that you have all along exhibited throughout the year..."
something like that i changed a little here and there but most of it is like that.
something like that i changed a little here and there but most of it is like that.
in my mind i thought
yeah..amanda this is not like you
i haven't done so badly in history ever
well i've never failed for a paper that is
some things certainly did change that affected my thinking
affected the way i write and definitely my grades
i don't know what and when it hit me
so hard that i just fall without knowing.
history is pretty much my best subject out of 7
but it seems even the best falls down sometimes
so i dont know how im going to do for my other subject
not hoping much
cause i know i screwed up badly
even though i studied.
well i would definitely study even harder now
just that based on my character im pretty much a slacker
so i got to change the thinking
but its hard y'know
like i've never put myself in a stressed position
when i did, i know it certainly screwed me up
the future sure seems a little gloomy now
not sure how i would do for o's
not sure if things would change
im suppose to save for japan to go with sarah
somehow my thinking changed
suddenly to everything i've known i've lost interest
suddenly to everything i've known i've lost interest
sometimes i just wanna tell her i might not wanna go
but i know it will affect her as well.
sometimes its just so hard to make decisions
certainly when you're not in the right mood and condition
to do so.
maybe i should just wait, awhile
when my head clears up and i can think
when the world seem to have broken down , will you have the strength to stand up once again?
i need to start believing again
believeing in people, stuff that i've known
love,hope and even in myself
as i move along
i seem to have faltered
and broken apart
i just feel like crying now
done for today, later peeps.