i never knew i could get so emotional
never knew that my emotions could just take over me
overwhelmed
i simply cried
cried for what i thought was nearly an hour
many things just ran through my head
my dad simply just scolded me
and said " you enough already"
it all started cause i said " i don't know"
in a way in which he thought i was throwing temper
the fact that i don't know which i was saying
for like i don't know how many times.
and he was simply scolding me
saying i lived in japan for 12 year and you telling me
your friend know more about japan than me
wtf i didn't even say that.
at that moment i was pissed cause he indirectly calling stupid
but i knew i somehow was in the wrong
i didn't say a damn word
just kept quiet and cry
until reaching my grand aunt's house
my mum came
i just scream like whatever i was feeling
she listened even though i know she didn't understand
i didn't really care
i was tellng her about school, telling her how everytime
i feel that if i die, the world will be better.
i always feel that im living in my brother's shadows
does anyone see me
does anyone know im there.
i know he is naturally smart, talented in a lot of ways
but i'm trying hard to just get the results i want or actually they want
no..actually they never set a target for me
cause they just want me to pass, which is not what i want
if my bro did badly they would like scold him or whatever,cause they care
but they never ever did.in some way its good
but in some ways, i doubt they don't even care what results i get.
i don't know what im talented in
no matter what i do is wrong, no matter what i like to do and i work hard in it
it never seem to be good enough
cause i never seem to be able to excel or be as good as what my bro
it just isn't fair sometimes
i want people to see me for me, not some girl
who is useless and weaker than her brother
whether is it size,height,studies,sports anything.
i don't want to be compared
because anything people say is always hurting
why do they not think about others before saying anything
i always think before i say,cause i hate seeing people get hurt
why can't people do the same for me.
i can't remember the last time
i really laughed and felt truely happy
it felt like a long time.


went to poojaa's house to study
i think i didn't do much
cause i realise i dont know a lot of stuff
then all the stuff happened
dinner then im home.

tomorrow should i slack or study
with eugene.no idea
i'll pick one.

daniel's hip hop class

elliot yamin-movin' on

guess where am i