pushing aside
Wednesday, September 24, 2008 @ 4:11 PM
doing a fast post i guess
got to go study
social studies, history and a little chinese
mostly content base so that sucks
which means i have a lot of things to remember
screw it
today had physics the whole day
and well we got a special lunch
not suppose to say what cause
i think we probably would get into trouble
ps: beaker can make good utensils.HAHA
thanks anyway mr lau!
for the stuff and encouragement once again
well i know i probably would NEVER
get an A or B3 for physics
if i'm lucky a B4
but glad you know im trying
and im happy that you know
i feel appreciated.
talked to ms kelly about me A math
she say i probably would need to go into procedurial(not sure how you spell the word?)
which pretty means i have to go into robot mode
i just have to memorise how its done
can't use logical thinking for A math
haha
this is difficult
cause i will have no idea what im doing
she says cause i always start a question that maybe some don't even start
but i never end it
cause well i told her as i do
i either dont know how to do
or
dont know what the question is asking for
so got to practice a lot of A math
and be a robot for once
and i told her
everytime i do the paper
i will give up slowly and forget stuff, become more restless
as i dont know how to do loads of questions.
she say i cant do A math well probably cause of my confidence level
which i know its true
i feel pessimistic.
E math is alright
just super duper a lot of careless mistakes
that cause me a lot of marks
sigh
got to work on that as well
just really pushing everything out of my mind
including you.
but well i dont matter to you anyway
so well i just trying to let go now.
family stuff is just there
existing, hurting me
but not really that difficult to avoid it
just that sometimes
i have to fake about it
or even fake a smile
that is the difficult part.
i know i'll be fine
maybe cause im not relying on anyone ever
never really asked someone to help me with my problems
except eugene for the japan thing
thanks a lot, and sorry sarah.
but i've always tried to solve stuff
which always involve emotions
i break down but never infront of someone else
once in while but not always
sometimes my results get stagnant cause there is always something
something at the back of my mind blocking
all the stuff i suppose to remember
refusing to let me gain excess to information
now my feelings..thoughts
takes up more of my memory space
rather than content
guess i'll end here
will update soon
go manda/amanda/anya.
the thought about you just makes me smile
yet when i open my eyes.
its all just a thought
never real
you exist to me
but i don't to you
and i'll never will.