just too much to take
Monday, June 29, 2009 @ 11:49 PM
maybe not to people but here.
so much on my mind, kept there.
so much i just have to bear, have to tolerate and take it all in without a single rebuttal.
im sick and tired of this feeling
yet i can't do anything about it.
drifting away slowly..
not that i want to.
but i rather be.
tears roll down my face with every thought of it.
i don't wanna cry, so i'm holding it in
amanda, you got to be strong, you gotta show others that you can
sometimes in life, fate isn't always in your own hands.
however the future is.
i just have to be stronger than ever now.
if once i give up right now, i know i'll regret it.
bro, you're not all that
i know you're smarter,much smarter than me
doesn't mean i'm stupid.
i'm not that inferior to you, don't always think you're superior
so what if you're a better dancer,so what if most of the stuff you can do are better than me
you can't always take away the things that i love doing.
crushing everything that i know of,everything i can possibly do to feel most happy
i know you wish i never exist
i wish i didn't too.
sometimes, i really would like to explore and try something new
it's part of learning and i really love to learn new stuff
sometimes before you try you won't know if you can make it
until you try, but why do you have to bring me down
why do you have to say i can't before i even try
it feels like i'm so stuck with no where to head
no where to go
i really want to learn, why can't i
spoiling the feeling,spoiling the curiousity
with one sentence you make me doubt myself and just say forget it.
it sucks when i have to put up a false front
smile like im happy
it hurts like shit inside, but i dont want everyone else around me to feel the same
suffering inside, yet i can smile and laugh like nobody's business
i wonder when was the last time i laugh like the world was perfect
everything feels so fake that i don't even know.
i know life was never perfect,
but i didn't know it would be this bad.
others complain so much about their family,what they have or don't
but i envy them so much as compared to them who envy my freedom
care,concern,love,family
they got it all.
drifting away slowly from them
the amount of words i say at home is so little
sometimes i don't even speak
i know sometimes i don't open up, cause it's really difficult.
i'm always that little girl who has an average intelligence level at home, and doesn't seem to know what's going on at all.
but the fact is, i do know.
i know all the problems at home.
i'm not that little girl you guys always think i am
the thing is, you guys don't even know me at all.
wishing things would change for the better
i hate to cry, this post is such a hard one to write
but i know it helps, i know i'll feel a lil better
i know this would go on a long, long time
i don't know how strong can i be,
after all i'm still human.
i'm afraid of the day i'll break down.
i wish that day never comes.
the feeling inside honestly sucks.
the heart simply hurts right now
thanks TPDE seniors for a fun dinner
you guys were dope for AGM.