found this on google.

today was a very wrong day.
i wasn't myself today, as many can see
im sorry guys,
in class i was like effing emo.
too many things happening
couldn't concentrate at all, i screwed myself up today
Jui Hsin told me, dance wise i was okay, but he couldn't feel my soul today
i simply said i couldn't find it today, zero feel.

i didn't know i would find out stuff like straight out
i didn't know what to expect
telling him about him, but he doesn't know is him
sounds damn bloody stupid
but i don't want things to change
i like how it is now, just friends and comfortable
falling for you is the last thing i want.
knowing that my decision of not confessing is right
is painful, and i'm getting it the hard way
my heart effing hurts, like it broke into millions of pieces
but i can't do a shit bout' it.
tryna get you out of my head is a living hell and challenging
knowing that i'll see you every alternate day.
and knowing that you're feeling the same way for someone else
is another stab straight to the heart.
everyone thinks i'm strong, i tell myself i am as well
but its just the surface, no one knows what's underneath that fake smile.
for now, all i can do is..
try to numb myself and be strong.

disappointed in myself, for not controlling my emotions
usually i can
but today i lost it
and i almost made things worst.
buck up amanda.