today i spend my whole day in school doing work.
but quite slack also.

somehow today i thought about a lot of stuff.
found out certain things that i never expect.
if i was in the same position, i don't know how i would live.
i don't know how would i live another day.
i really do not know how strong i would be.
i'm glad you are strong.
stay strong.
it'll be over soon.

i feel i've changed, have i?
don't know what's wrong with me these days.
maybe because christmas is coming,
everyone has plans but me.
can't meet eggy and bones.
sigh.
i think my family isn't celebrating christmas proper this year.
dad gave me $50 to buy myself a present.
happy it may seem.
but it's just a hint that no one is gonna really celebrate.
i am THAT pathetic, aren't i?
the fact i'm used to being
i just feel like going everywhere alone.
but yet i'm hating the feeling of loneliness.
i think i'm just too afraid to face whatever i have to face.
my parents probably think i'm a happy kid, cause i'm always out of the house.
i know they don't know anything about me
but i rather it be this way.
at least they don't have to worry.
thank them that they don't ask a lot of questions.
it makes my life a lil easier.
keeping things in my heart and mind
i feel safer, as these are the only things i hold on to.
memories and thoughts, at least i know things that aren't happening now..
once happened.
i was happy.

things change..
and i'm that insignificant
i know.
it's probably time to face the truth.
i know i'll be alone..
for probably a long long time.
i'll get used to it, won't i?