Thursday, September 9, 2010 @ 1:46 AM
maybe it's protecting memaybe it's the only thing that has been there for me
it's the one depicting my feelings and showing me by making me listen
3 down 1 to go.Screwed the first 2, and felt good for the one that i didn't bother to study properly. Ironic, i know. The 2 papers i studied my ass off was the one that i had problems thinking during the exam. Information overload. It's just stupid of me to make myself panic.
After resort ops paper, went home to get dance stuff, with MX accompanying me. Then followed her all the way to the airport to sent her parents of to China. I guess when i look at my own family, i never felt as happy as looking at others. It's been awhile since we all laughed with each other. I guess we have nothing left to say nowadays. Maybe that's when i started walking into my box. I find it difficult to express myself verbally because i'm so used to having everything up in my head and in my heart. I guess it's kinda more comfortable but, sometimes it feels like you're just alone.
Well, moving on.
Had recital training, learnt Ben's choreo today. I think it's pretty awesome and i think popping item is gonna be crazy this year. Well, it always has been. I think i deproved a lot.
I don't know where i belong, track or dance. As much as i'm convinced i'm in both, but sometimes i can't help feeling the left out feeling wherever i go. Not only track and dance, i guess generally it applies everywhere. I don't know where i'm heading and i don't know if i'll get totally outcast or something; i guess i chose this route and life goes on. Actually i know it's normal because i'm always going to have to choose one over the other. Just that i can't help but feeling like this. When i'm in my worst possible mood, i have no one to talk to because no particular person would actually come to my mind. Maybe because no one actually is there for me, i mean i got the best people i could every meet in the whole world, but i guess i won't ring them up because not all of them are listeners. I mean some people are, but well, seldom and they would only found after the situation is blown off. The only place i would runaway to is here. Pathetic? i know. I just like the fact i can type anything, even if people are looking(which hardly anyone reads my blog) i seriously don't give a damn about your thoughts anyway.
emo? you think so? i don't give a damn, call it whatever you want
Life just goes on