frustrations
Tuesday, December 21, 2010 @ 12:32 AM
You know i really hate the feeling when i treat people nice, like they're my good friends/brothers/sisters. But, after awhile they just leave me hanging and throw me aside.
Is it that difficult to treat someone the way they suppose to be treated?
And I can't believe how much people have changed.
When I thought it was all good, it's probably a facade.
Am I really too nice? because I don't feel that I am.
Someone once told me before I started my poly life:
"You have to stop thinking for others and start thinking for yourself"
I wish I listened, I wish I could do that.
I remember replying that it's just not me to only think for myself because I'm like that.
I want people around me to be happy so that i can be happy to.
Recently, i realize everyone may be happy except me.
I really hate it.
My life is a mess.
The truth is, I dread coming home other than the times i feel like sleeping because i know i'll be alone. I hate it when i look forward to seeing everyone at home but, to only find out that i'm the only one. It's a family that doesn't feel like one. I miss the times in sports school. It feels more like a home to me than my own home.
it's all random thoughts. toodles