Feeling the need to rant because with you on my mind I can't seem to do anything right. I wish I could delete you like how I use a mouse on a computer, I wish I can forget about you just like that.
I asked myself why I can't,
one, i'm afraid of losing you, i'm afraid of not being able to talk to you ever.
two, i can't let this feeling go, i'm afraid i would feel empty all over again.
three, i can't help it because you just light up my heart like fireworks
four, because you're the most real and true person i have ever met
five, i have never felt like that for someone for so long
six, you're the first person i unconditionally open my heart to.

maybe i can give a lot of reasons, but in the end it would still hurt.
i just don't want to hurt anymore.
it's like everyday i tell myself, it's gonna be okay when i know its not.
i tell myself you're not worth it, but i feel like i'm not worth it.
i know where this is going, so why wait?
i don't want to, but i don't know how to end this.
all this time i tell myself no, but i'm deceiving myself and everyone else.
just stop.

i really need to be ruthless this time, it's gonna be good for me right?
i hope so too.