When walls are blocking
Monday, August 30, 2010 @ 11:21 PM
i guess there's a lot on my mind
and i don't know how to say it
somehow i feel like i'm going crazy
can hardly think straight
and i have zero confidence in passing any of my papers
I'm worrying about so many things at one go and
so many things in one small little brain of mine:
1) Examinations - i seriously would want to ace them all
2) Track - competition is coming and i just skipped 1 week of training
3) Dance - I would really want to commit for it and recital is well on it's way. However i'm not confident with my abilities and skill levels at all
4) Family - Every moment i'm living in the house, i feel a wall building up inside. Each day i feel that i have lesser things to say and words are just fading away.
So afraid it'll one day just fall apart.
5) Money - "Money makes the world go round" i don't believe it. but somehow it is an important factor. Is money really everything? does it really decide which path we take and how our lives are gonna be? what our future job is? It's such a waste of talents, when all those talented people are the people who are poor. I don't know how everything is gonna work out in the future. I don't know if i would be able to afford to go to a university. I do hope a miracle would appear for those in need.
Sometimes you can feel so lonely inside, but yet be so busy out there.
This feeling really just makes your heart ache.
But it doesn't kill you, so just hope it makes you stronger.
I don't fear loneliness, because maybe i'm getting used to it
I don't know if i would be lonely the rest of my life
I don't know if i would every find someone.
but life goes on, i just gotta live with it.
The only thing i fear and hate is people not listening.
I can talk and sometimes people around just don't hear me.
I don't know why, but it makes me feel scared everytime it happens
So afraid that no one can hear me at all.
When i'm screaming and shouting my lungs out and no one hears me
It feels like i don't exist at all.
When can someone finally see me?