marching on
Wednesday, May 4, 2011 @ 11:00 PM
Anyway, some updates from the past two weeks:
Started Popping again so i was really happy i get to session last week with KS, Yi Zheng, Lionel, Waihoe, Alvin etc. It was really fun(:
TPDE auditions, can't wait to see the new batch of juniors. Got to session with TPDE again. So learnt a lot yeap.
Get Down Vol. 4. This year everyone got stronger, so i'm really happy for everyone. I really sucked this year. The moment I went on stage i know everything felt wrong. Been super down ever since. As much as I pretend to smile and be happy, something inside my heart just doesn't feel right. The thing is, I'm not unhappy or sad about not getting through auditions. I'm not angry at anything. Just that I don't know why, everytime I think about dance and music now, i just feel something hurting in my heart, just pain. And it makes it hard to even breathe. Sigh, don't even wanna think about it. But now, everyday i question myself, can i really dance? Am i a dancer? Do i even belong here?
Maybe that's why people have status quo, people should be where they belong to and not try something new. Track has been my whole life and I know it. It is one of the best things that happened to me because it brought me to where I am and everything I learnt from it made me who I am.
Fuck all that.
MX got her car already cool or what, now we can go a lot of places woohoo. haha. take advantage!
And last part of my update today, cause i simply have no idea what to say anymore.
Happy birthday Mum, doubt you'll ever read this.
But, I know I was never the best daughter you can have. I know I have a lot of angsty moments and I know I haven't been treating you the way you should be. Thank you for all your care and concern as much as I hate it when you nag but, i know you care. Our little household changed a lot since I was a kid, now things are so different from back then and I miss all the quality times we could spent. Now we hardly have time for each other, and the home doesn't feel like a home anymore. But whatever happens, you know I love you mum. Without you, I probably wouldn't be where I am. Thank you for trusting me in all the decisions i make, and giving me freedom to do what i want, never stopping me from the things i love doing. I will work hard for my last year in poly. May you have a good life for as long as you live. love ya mum.