run run
Tuesday, June 8, 2010 @ 11:40 PM
really great meeting you girls(:
love you girls from the bottom of my heart
hopefully we won't forget each other
and we'll meet up more often!
we need to catch up ya know
anyway this week is gonna be crazy and it is
too many birthdays
i wanna go Pixar,
maybe i can go tomorrow.
i mean i finally get a free day.
and i definitely don't feel like using it to dance or run.
Today all i did was went for track training
Mr Tang took over,
never been under him before
but he's a really nice, funny guy
all we did was warm-up, stretching and drills
and i feel as if i can't walk tomorrow
drills was already a killer for us
i never knew lunges could be so tiring
and i didn't know how important it is.
actually i didn't know how important any of the drill
like how it actually plays a part in running
now i do, after today's training that is.
but even though i felt like dying
i kinda liked it!
somehow it was a pretty fun session(:
i think what people say
really gives certain motivation,
after what Mr Tang said about running mechanics
and when he corrects a drills
when i sort of understand;
i somehow got motivated and he ask if i felt 'shiok'
after doing a drills sort of right
apparently it did.
i guess the satisfaction was unexpected
and i guess i can sum up what sports can give me:
relaxation, satisfaction, enjoyment and..
i think there's more, can't think a the moment
not that dance cannot give me those.
i guess just different kind.
i never felt that 'woah' feeling when i dance
like the overwhelming kind
it's just different.
wonder why.
1:49 AM
happy birthday
7th june: Dipna
8th june: Mariam and Dad
i just realise i didn't call to wish my dad
i just realise i didn't get him a present either
what kind of unfilial daughter am i.
what am i afraid of? awkwardness?
it's been so long since i felt bonded to my family
the only times i felt that i even have a family, are the family dinners
and those don't even last for 2 hours.
other have family, so do i, why does it feel so different?
home.
it's empty, dark and never lively
stories i hear from others about what happened at home,
i don't even have a story to tell.
sometimes i pray to God and ask
why? why is everything like that?
i remember writing an essay in secondary school, about love.
there are different kinds of love.
family love, love between friends, relationship sort of love.
but what i probably yearn he most, is the first.
i realise i always try to make myself better in a situation, just make myself feel a little better
just notice that i always say i have a lot of freedom.
but i wish my parents would have the time to even control me.
i have a lot of freedom because they simply do not have time to control me.
i know whatever i'm saying is going way off the point.
i keep pushing people away,
because i'm living in a box.
where i feel most comfortable,
where all my problems are within this box
and no one is allowed to open it except me.
i'm sorry to all those who care
and i don't know how to explain my problems
because i'm not good with words.
everything just comes out wrong when i say something
there's a lot of times i wish i would just keep quiet.
i just wish everything would be how i was when i was a kid.
simple and everything i needed was there
everything changed ever since i entered secondary 1.
i wonder is it because i lived in a hostel and when i came back
everything just wasn't the same
it was just 4 years, just 4.
and after this 4 years i felt like a different person.
i thought it was better, cause i felt like i've changed from bad to good.
but everything else in my life simply fell apart.
why. why is everything like that.
so many things but i can't even put them in simple words.
memories at its best
Saturday, June 5, 2010 @ 1:47 AM
i wish i could turn back time and experience everything all over
i know there are moments and memories
but yet it wasn't all captured on film.
i know memories don't live on photos
it lives in the heart.
Retain the good memories, but don't throw away the bad ones either
the bad memories; is very much hated
however no matter how much you hate it
It is still important, it is part of who you are
bad memories are still memories, they let you reminisce the past
without them, even the good memories doesn't exist.
so, hope for a better tomorrow.
let the days be happy, and memories you gain would be good.
saw something from the fighting spiders
can't remember the exact words, i know its about hope.
"hope replenishes your soul, so don't lose hope"
I envy those families who give each other unlimited amount of support
i envy the love between them, that fills the air.
even through the television i can feel them.
I wonder when would that day come for me.
i wonder when will someone give me that unlimited support and love.
Being in the same house, and being related to one another.
yet there is always a barrier that separates all of us.
Is it because of the life we lead, is it because of the situation we're in
i don't ask for much, i just ask for a little quality time.
but nevertheless, i won't lose hope
i'll just keep moving all on my own
till the day i find that something i've been looking for
bad mamma jammer
Wednesday, June 2, 2010 @ 11:40 PM
okay i have a lot of stupid mistakes
but i should be able to pass the paper
i'm leaving this behind.
When to Bugis with Anita, to find her dress
bought a pair of shoe and some other stuff
stoned for very long, thinking whether i should buy clothes
decided to save money, cause i'm broke
and buy another day.
Walk around Bugis for very long
Saw Yuechao that idiot, very long never dance.
Went to library to read comics.
i think i should go to the library again haha!
it's kinda fun.
but i was wasting my time to decide whether to go Super Jam
so i did go in the end
Super Jam was fun
I was 'lucky',
my first round i meet Marzipan. haha!
no auditions cause only got 16.
well, i think everyone levelled up,
which is scary!
Kie Loong won! woohoo!
but everyone was dope today(:
cyphered after that
Tomorrow project whole day!
go go go!
Accounting
12:38 AM
hello accounting, my one and only paper
i hope i'll pass you because i studied you the whole day
(:
Images
Monday, May 31, 2010 @ 11:39 PM
today went Images of Singapore with group mates
Spam photos, i sort of like the exhibits about Singapore
maybe cause i like history,
but i like old ford factory more i think, cause it's on war stuff.
had consultation after that for attractions/ fem project
it's going nowhere seriously
oh well.
suppose to study, but ended up waiting for people and eating
never study=.=
only studied at 10PM.
meeting Anita at 10AM
goodbye world.
and i finally settled for a blog skin.
i think.
recently, i've been looking at things from a wider point of view
i'm seeing things i never realise
a whole lot of crap
lies
crazy days
1:55 AM
Updates
Friday, Loose Joint's workshop was DOPE
Really inspiring and i think i gain a lot of knowledge.
Thanks Loose Joint for the awesome workshop!
Thanks Diana and Joycelyn for attending it with me(:
Studying with Kayla these days.
Thanks! but i was basically rushing my Attractions Mgt Project.
It really sucks.
Get Down Vol 3 was awesome
Thanks to KS and Brendan for organising it.
Thank to Ben for the comments
Thanks to everyone who made it fun!
Surprised i was even in Top 32, because i didn't expect it.
All i wanted was to have fun
and i really did.
Thank you to Jeremy, Luqman and Andy for the enlightenment!
Good job to everyone!
Studied with Diana and Kayla at K's place today.
Awesome awesome
and Toby looks like a sheep woohoo
and Tommy, you survived all my typing and using you today
woohoo <3