Haven't updated in awhile, guess i've been pretty busy! Anyway, other than school I had an advance birthday celebration at Costa Sands Pasir Ris on 2nd and 3rd of feb! It was pretty hectic sometimes, but i'm glad with the turnout and how everything went. Really glad it wasn't awkward for any groups of friends and everything went alright except the food shortage part. Wanna thank my mum for booking the nice chalet, Divya for helping me with everything, Mx and piriyah with some planning too! Thank you to all my friends that came down! Love y'all to the moon and back can't ask for better friends(: Here's some pictures but the rest are on Facebook(:







So my actual birthday was on the 9th. It went pretty alright, just a chill day. Had breakfast in the morning with Rong Xin at Macs. Thanks for the treat sis! and then watched Ah Boyz to Men 2 with Mx and P! Hilarious movie. Never knew Singapore movie can be so funny(: Reunion dinner after that! Not much on my birthday i guess! Just a few pictures!




Turning 21 has been the weirdest feeling ever. Officially into adulthood and honestly not really looking forward to what's ahead. I have to really grow up. It's funny how when you were a kid and you wished you grew up, now i wished i didn't have to. A year older means much more responsibilities!Shall take this opportunity to thank all those that are part of my life, who made a difference, left an impact, contributed and in some ways or any ways part of it! Thank you because without any of you I wouldn't be where I am, I wouldn't be in poly and ssp. I'm truely grateful for all the times and memories i had in Saint Anthony's, Sports School and Temasek Polytechnic, Those were the best times of my life, i made wonderful friends and learned a great load of things. As much as I may be unhappy with a lot of things in my life, I am happy for getting to where I am after 21 years, I am happy for all the friends I have and all the things I did like dance & track. Dance & track, especially track was probably the best thing that ever happened to me, it taught me so  much, disicpline, hardwork, teamwork and a lot more. It was something I was so passionate about and something i dearly miss, hope i get back to it soon! I guess I'm glad I made the choices I made, like going to TP even though i stay at the other end, joining back track and juggling with 2 CCAs, it really created a lot of good memories that will remain forever in my heart and mind(: The unwillingness to turn 21 is unusually strong, but I can't turn back time, so all you have to do is look forward! I had my glory days, my happy days and sad ones too, more to come and all I can do is receive it. Been more positive lately and I like it this way. Some things I hope to do in 2013 I guess, haven't really had time to give a thorough thought!
-Lose weight!
-Continue track and dance!
-Do well for school and not remodule for anything! (seriously important)
Most of all, be happy(: everyone is chasing for that bit of happiness, so why not me?
Can't think at 230am, will  update more when i have time!
Dear Dom, I think of you time to time, to remind me how important life is. I hope you're partying up there! miss you dom!

oh did i mention, i made the decision to join Gem this year. I don't know if i'm crazy but I guess since I said yes, I have to give it my all. Assignments please me good to me! Praying that I survive this! so worried!

That's all I have for tonight, Happy CNY to everyone!
and whoever reading this, toodles
xx

Maybe you've found out, may not
but I trust my instincts.
You probably found someone.
I can feel you drifting, I can feel it for quite awhile.
I cannot say how many 'sorry' I owe you.
Just accept my last apology for taking up all your time.
I know what I have to do, but I'm always doubting my strength and my own heart
I can't do anything to make you go, so I will.
As subtle as I can, and on top of that
I have to believe in myself if not no one else would.

I just have to walk away now.
but, i'll always remember how you've helped me
i'll always be grateful.

Feeling the need to rant because with you on my mind I can't seem to do anything right. I wish I could delete you like how I use a mouse on a computer, I wish I can forget about you just like that.
I asked myself why I can't,
one, i'm afraid of losing you, i'm afraid of not being able to talk to you ever.
two, i can't let this feeling go, i'm afraid i would feel empty all over again.
three, i can't help it because you just light up my heart like fireworks
four, because you're the most real and true person i have ever met
five, i have never felt like that for someone for so long
six, you're the first person i unconditionally open my heart to.

maybe i can give a lot of reasons, but in the end it would still hurt.
i just don't want to hurt anymore.
it's like everyday i tell myself, it's gonna be okay when i know its not.
i tell myself you're not worth it, but i feel like i'm not worth it.
i know where this is going, so why wait?
i don't want to, but i don't know how to end this.
all this time i tell myself no, but i'm deceiving myself and everyone else.
just stop.

i really need to be ruthless this time, it's gonna be good for me right?
i hope so too.

as words come. But put

them together side-by-side and they

have the power to haunt you for the

rest of your life: ‘What if?'..."

"I don't know how your story ended.

But I know that if what you felt

then was love - true love - then

it's never too late. If it was true

then it why wouldn't it be true

now? You need only the courage to

follow your heart..."

"I don't know what a love like that

feels like... a love to leave loved

ones for, a love to cross oceans

for... but I'd like to believe if I

ever felt it. I'd have the courage

to seize it. I hope you had the

courage to seize it, Claire. And if

you didn't, I hope one day that you

will." - Letters to Juliet