i don't know what to say about today
so shite
so pissed
such a dull day

getting some sort of lecture in the morning
not exactly how i want to start out my day.
its not my attitude,
its how the system goes
today i realise all of us are selfish
prioritise in different stuff.
always want things to go their way.
but do people stop and thing if others want the same thing

i definitely don't have a goal
and i hate this system that i can't decide
what i want to do in my effing life.
seriously can't i just decide
you people deciding everything makes it harder for us
not easier for us to live my life
i was already effed up about something else
one situation have to make everything go out of control in my mind.
i was so confused
don't know i should cry,laugh,be happy or sad.
you knows it really kills me when i'm like that
in a state, a feeling that my soul can't take it
and left my body.

even my parents don't decide.
who give you the authority to
seriously i don't know who i'm talking about
but whoever this is going out to
i'm just pissed off at the moment.

being at home alone always
helps me relax,think.
esplanade helps me sometimes
but i just can't find the time to go there

how many things are coming together now.
i need time to recover for my hamstring
when nationals is in 4 weeks
i know i cannot make it already
so not hoping for anything.

O's are this year
i can't even find time to study properly
or i can't even make myself concentrate
when my mind is always thinking
how to solve the problem in my life.
the crux of it all.

i don't feel like living sometimes
when i try hurting myself
the rational me will be there.
i just hope someone would just end all these for me.

5 MORE DAYS TO THE BIG GROOVE.
i seriously can't get over yokoi's and shohei's solo.